Don't mind me, I'm just over here fan-girling all over the place! Today's interviewee is someone I DON'T know, like, at all. So imagine my surprise when this super cool person - who just happened to have created one of my VERY favorite oracle decks (Coastal Curiosities) - said "yes" when I asked if she were willing to participate in this project!! I'm so thrilled to offer you answers from Lennox Rees, and to have a chance to get to know her a little myself, through the magic of the interwebz. Check out the 5 questions she chose, have a read, and then be sure to go check out the upcoming Coastal Curiosities Oracle Deck 2nd edition. Here's a post over on Instagram where we used one of the cards from the Coastal Curiosities deck as a starting point for discussion and art'ing in a Seeds of Connection group. Leave a comment here on the blog and let us know what you think of these answers, or how YOU might answer these questions! Do you have a fave oracle deck? Which one is it?  How does curiosity show up in your life? Curiosity shows up throughout my life because I take the perspective of remaining a "student." I love learning about new things that I can apply to my everyday life, whether that's about my artwork, job, interests/hobbies, or animals! Do you have any practices you use for self-reflection or self-inquiry? I use journaling paired with tarot/oracle cards for self-reflection. The combination of strong visuals of the cards with physically writing down my thoughts and reflections in the journal really helps bring me closer to myself. It helps guide my intuition to set goals/affirmations/challenges for my mind to pursue or focus on. What is your relationship with the concept of “boundaries”? My relationship with "boundaries" is a deeply rooted concept because I've always had a strong sense of what's fair and unfair. I follow my gut along with knowledge/learnings gained from past experiences to ensure I protect my mental and physical well-being and look for others too. Do/have you worked with a coach or therapist? What makes this work meaningful to you? I have worked with therapists in the past. I find the work they do to be meaningful because it allows me to release mental burdens and blockages. To speak openly about the past, present, and future and gain tools to navigate traumas is essential work. How does art and creativity show up in your life? Art and creativity show up in my life in almost everything I do. The designs I create for my job, collages I make for my tarot/oracle decks, the content I consume, and even how I get dressed and style my outfits are all creative choices. BIO Lennox Rees (she/her) is a graphic designer and collage artist. She enjoys inspiring people with her artwork and designs through tarot and oracle decks. Lennox lives in Astoria, OR with husband and her mother along with 5 rescue pets: 2 pit bull sisters, 2 goat brothers, and 1 tortoise. Lennox loves thrifting, fashion, watching anime, playing video games, and reading graphic novels. Lennox agreed to take part in the Practicing Together Project because she enjoys learning about other people’s stories and perspectives. Her favorite way to get creative is to pull tarot/oracle cards and create collages. You can connect with Lennox and learn more about her work at www.helloivyly.com or on Instagram @helloivyly.
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The interview this week is from one of my favorite humans in the birthy world - Sharon Muza. I met Sharon when I was a newer doula through networking in the birth community, and through one of her amazing class offerings for birth professionals. I think what I love most about Sharon is that she is so unapologetically herself (my VERY favorite side of her is "Cranky Sharon"!), and she's also so warm, funny, and supportive - of both the families she serves and the birth professionals who learn from her. I hope you will find some time to read Sharon's answers to the 5 questions she chose and get to know this awesome doula/teacher/human a little better! How would you answer these questions? Do you appreciate or have thoughts about Sharon's answers?Leave a comment here on the blog and let us know.  What are your thoughts about consent? How does consent show up in your work? I work with pregnant, birthing and postpartum people. Consent is a key factor (dare I say, *the key factor* in a positive experience for a family that is welcoming a new baby. Shared decision making, evidence based information delivered simply and respect that each family makes the decisions right for them. Respectful treatment and communication and centering the parent’s voice is key to being able to provide consent for care during the childbearing year. In my childbirth classes and when working with my doula clients, I keep this front and center. What are 3 things someone should know about you at the beginning of a friendship or relationship that would help them understand you better?
I love that I care about the earth, people and animals. I love that I am a hard worker and I am willing to challenge myself to do hard things. I am not afraid of failure - but I do not like to fail. I love that I am generous with my time and my knowledge and I love that I believe that others can do hard things too. What are some things you have done in your life that you are truly proud of? I have raised and supported two daughters to young adulthood, mostly as a single parent. I have created and grown a successful business made up of many moving parts and I do every single task, myself and I believe I do it well. I have become a “neat” person after a lifetime of being a horrible, messy person whose messiness created great stress and turmoil. I vote. Every single time. Without fail. Is it easy or difficult for you to ask for help? Has it always been like this for you? It is hard to ask for help. But I learned that I can do hard things, including asking for help, shortly after I became a single parent and had to ask a friend for a very big favor. I felt horrible in asking, but they were so gracious and helpful and the end result was so positive. I learned the lesson that it is OKAY to ask for help and while I still try and be as independent as possible, I do ask for help when I feel it is necessary. Bio Sharon Muza (she/her/hers) has been an active perinatal professional since 2004, teaching Lamaze classes to thousands of families and doula-ing in Seattle, WA. Sharon is also a trainer of new birth doulas and childbirth educators. She blogs professionally on perinatal topics. Sharon enjoys facilitating discussion around best practice, current research and its practical application to maternal-infant health and community standards. She also loves creating and delivering engaging and interactive learning sessions both in person and online
Instagram @Sharon.Muza Website https://sharonmuza.com/
It's easy to have a love/hate relationship with social media, but this week's interview is a great example of something I love about online spaces - I get to connect with some of the coolest people!! Andrea and I bonded over our love of coffee after I posted a pic of my fancy espresso machine. She is just an all around lovely human, as far as I can tell (she is definitely not giving off any axe murderer or timeshare salesperson vibes!). She is a creative person, an entrepreneur, and someone I hope to meet someday in real life....hopefully over a cup of great coffee! Check out these questions and answers and get to know Andrea Chebeleu! Leave a comment here on the blog and share your answers to these questions! Or come find them being posted over on Instagram and join the conversation there.  What are some of your favorite ways to fill your cup, recharge your batteries, or take care of yourself? I love to curl up in the corner of my couch and cuddle with my kitty (Beatrix Potter) as I scroll through TikTok (which feeds me lots of ADHD, Art, Entrepreneur and Cat videos) just as much as I love getting myself out side, preferably in the presence of big trees and bonus if the ocean is nearby. Most often the couch wins but I aspire to increase the amount of time nature wins. How does curiosity show up in your life? As an artist curiosity shows up when reaching for old forgotten supplies as I combine them with current work. My favorite internal prompt is “what happens when…” When/how do you find time to play? I feel like I play daily but it is sort of tied up with work so the boundaries are not clear. I like to get away with a creative girlfriend in a local hotel lobby cafe and pretend we are staying there as we art the afternoon away and nibble on fries. If you are familiar with the framework and resonate with the concept of “love languages”, how do you most like to give and receive love? Words of affirmation fill me up while my partner is an acts of service guy so by doing things I know he will appreciate I tend to get my affirmation and it is a beautiful thing. Is it easy or difficult for you to ask for help? It is difficult for emotional things but not for tasky/project things. Has it always been like this for you? Yes, always. BIO Andrea Chebeleu, owner and artist behind A Work of Heart Studio in San Jose California, started in 1998, loves her daily creative practice and sharing knowledge of materials and process with others. She finds great joy in breaking down seemingly complicated processes into simple steps and has adopted a guiding principle of "First, Not Only" attitude which she passes on to every student. The attitude of "first, not only" gives us permission to playfully explore without fear. Pre-covid times Andrea taught in her studio in San Jose and ran the adjacent art supply shop full time. The shop is still open but many classes are currently happening via zoom which makes taking awesome classes even more accessible to students worldwide. Andrea is a mom to 3 grown children and a wife to an engineer husband who loves to indulge her in the latest tech gadgets the latest being a laser cutter and 3-d printer on which they design one of a kind custom products to include in class kits. When not focusing on art and the business Andrea enjoys fostering kittens for her local county and takes pride in placing each and every furry baby in loving homes. Check out Andrea's website: www.aworkofheart.com or find her on Instagram: @aworkofheartstudio
I'm so excited to offer you a chance to get to know Ellen Barnard through her guest interview here. I first met Ellen many years ago through the Kitsap birth community, when she was new to our area. She has been an advocate for women and their health for many years and is very passionate about supporting people in moving toward health and wellness. Take a minute to read her answers to the 5 questions she chose, and be sure to check out her bio to get a peek into her personal journey and the support she offers. How would you respond to these questions? Share here in the comments, I'd love to know your thoughts!  What does it mean to you to move toward healing? What types of things support your healing journey? Knowledge, boundaries and prioritizing myself care above all! I have spent many years trying to fix what was broken and real healing did not start until I realized that I was not broken and that with knowledge comes boundaries, I can learn something and not have to hyper focus on it to be perfect. I first have to check in with myself and see if this knowledge is helpful or hurtful and find what works for me. I recognize that for me a lot of times in situations that feel very out of my control (like getting pregnant/staying pregnant) I can do my best to take care of myself by eating well, sleep and movement but at the end of the day it does not mean I must be perfect in those areas to be able to be healthy. More important than the perfect diet or workout plan is how I talk to myself, what I believe to be true about myself/situation and how much I am taking care of me, before pouring everything into everyone else. What are 3 things someone should know about you at the beginning of a friendship or relationship that would help them understand you better? I am pretty intense, I don’t realize I have RBF, I am actually pretty goofy and silly once you get to know me. I like direct communication and you can’t really hurt my feelings if you are direct. Passive aggression shuts me down right away. Also, if you don’t want advise, please just tell me that! My love language is to help, I have probably read something or researched something that I think could be helpful and I just want to help. I can totally listen, but will often ask, “Do you want advise or just to vent?”. What are some things you have done in your life that you are truly proud of? I am very proud of the work I have put into my own growth and health. This is not a value I was raised with and was not modeled for me. It has taken a lot of work to find value and balance in taking care of myself. I am also very proud of my impact in others lives. I have always been drive to help others and that has looked very different over the years/careers but the goal of helping others has always been from the heart! How does curiosity show up in your life? I am not sure if it is because I am a Virgo or enneagram 8 but I am a researcher by nature. I Love to know the WHY behind so many things, especially when the answer is not an easy one. This is very true when it has come to my health/ health journey/ fertility. I was told after my first miscarriage that its just “unlucky” and to try again. The experience was not that simple for me physically or emotionally so taking control as much as I could in situation that was largely out of my control was best for me. I did not simply “try again” I researched, made changes and sought answers to what I could do to better my chances of conception. Finish this sentence: I want to live in a world where…..? Women are given true, informed consent about their health and even if their choice is medication, or medical intervention, that they are given the real risks and side effects as well as the nutrition and lifestyle changes that can impact their health/outcome. In my experience personally and as a practitioner most women have NO idea what their options are or what the risks are! We deserve to be empowered through knowledge and options! Are you a parent? What has parenting taught you about caring for another person or being curious about them? Not until I was a parent did, I realize how much my own childhood impacted my day-to-day life. I’m sure this is common but I had done so much work to forgive my parents and had immense compassion for their struggles. But then became a mom and struggled with how much pressure I would feel to raise my daughter so differently. I have come to realize there is no right or wrong way. Day to day it means listening to myself, my needs and taking care of myself and then doing the same for her. If I am carrying work into “mom time” or have not eaten enough then I am less then present with her and this results in a power struggle. If I listen to what I need, fulfill that and then get on her level and really hear her, we have way less tension and struggle in our day. Its not always easy to do but regulating and caring for myself was never something I saw modeled. BIO Hi! I’m Ellen!
The evolution of my career and my personal health struggles have created a unique perspective and approach to health. I have been an athlete, struggled with PCOS, spent the typical (for my generation) years on birth control & got off of it when I realized its implications. I’ve taught myself to track my cycle through FAM/FEMM to avoid pregnancy. Then at what I thought was my “healthiest”, we were ready to start a family, but I experienced a devastating miscarriage. I was sick of not knowing my body, not feeling empowered with the limited information I was given about health even as a health coach and the lack of help I was getting from the MANY providers I saw left me defeated. I took my health into my own hands in many ways and chose to connect the puzzle pieces of my health journey and find providers to help me HEAL. Not to reach a destination of health but to know my body, know what it felt like to thrive so that when life changes, things shift, I had the foundation to manage my health and the tools to find the root cause of whatever symptoms I was experiencing. I was done with diets, quick fixes and weight loss goals. I wanted to be in a state of health harmony. Through my struggles and healing it became my mission to help other women. I created what I wish I would have had in my teens, 20’s or even my 30’s, to help guide me to true health, in the most simple and straightforward way possible. It was overwhelming to compile the information, research, advocate for myself and hold myself accountable and I knew other women needed all this and more. So I created the program I wish I had, in order to impact as many women as I can! Connect with Ellen: Website Your Hive Life
It has been so wonderful to add Lara to my circle of RAD humans. She is creative, funny, energetic, and so enthusiastic about helping and encouraging people in so many ways. We connected over snail mail (we both LOVE it!), and I absolutely adore the zines she creates and sends to her clients and friends. Be sure to take a minute to read Lara's answers here, and then think about how YOU might answer these same questions! Enjoy this interview from an amazingly colorful person! Share a comment here on the blog with your thoughts, or how you might answer these questions. You can also send me a message or find the conversation over on social media.  Teneo Bio Mural Menlo Park, CA 2016 by Lara Buelow What are some things that were important to you as a small child that you can still see echoes or threads of in your life today? I see so many threads of my younger self in my life today. I have always considered myself and activist, having started animal-rights clubs as a kid, raising money to donate to different organizations. Even though I no longer am leading my own justice groups, I still participate and donate to many rights organizations. I am also an artists, through and through. I have always been a painter. I think this one is quite common. Kids are encouraged to do arts and crafts. We lose that somewhere along the way. I never gave it up. I've always been obsessed with crafty things and continue to pursue an art practice today. I paint and do mixed media on canvas and paint large murals. A quieter thread is my introverted nature and the need for alone time to rejuvenate myself. Were aspects of your identity celebrated or suppressed throughout your life? How did this affect you? My parents are the most diplomatic loving people I have ever met in my life. Their kindness and compassion extends beyond our immediate family. I know with every ounce of certainty in my being that I was born into a very special situation. I feel lucky to have the parents I have. I am definitely the person I am today because of them. I'm a very sensitive person and I think that if I were in a family that squashed my feelings and desire for unique expression I would have ended up very different. What are some things you have done in your life that you are truly proud of? I've traveled a lot, stayed true to my creative nature, and pursued the opportunities I've been most interested in. One specific adventure that I am super proud of is my cross country bicycle trip with my older sister in 2008. We cycled from our apartment in NYC to our brothers house in Seattle. It was awesome. I went to art school, dropped out, graduated with a degree in art & environmental studies 6 years later. I am also super proud of the murals I have painted and putting myself out there as a painter. I continue to be committed to building my coaching practice and there have been many milestones along the way that I have enjoyed. What are a few of your favorite questions to ask people you are getting to know? Why do you like these questions? I love finding out where people are from in the world and where they have lived. Getting peoples travel stories. How did you come to Denver or X location? How do you know X person? What are you working on right now (just in your life)? I actually really love speed networking events because I feel like you get these glimpses into peoples life for a few minutes and then get a little taste of everyone. The speed aspect allows you to jump straight into a fun facts about you scenario and go down whichever little path pops up first. Icebreakers are always a litlte tough and awkward - giving out compliments is an easy and nice way to reach out to someone. Are you a parent? What has parenting taught you about caring for another person or being curious about them? I am a parent and it is shifting everything. Taking care of little people and people in general is super hard (for me). I feel that it is a deeply undervalued and under recognized thing in the USA. I feel like my ignorance is coming into full view… that I actually know nothing and finding out news ways that I know nothing every day. What I do know is that every single humans needs the love, attention, and care from another human. And we are deeply lacking that across the world. There are too many people who are not getting the love and attention that they need. How will we change this? How will be do better for our own families? BIO Lara is a certified professional coach specializing in regret and life design. Lara is certified through iPEC and the Designing Your Life methodology through Stanford University. She has a bachelor’s degree from Western Washington University and also studied painting at Parsons School of Design. Lara’s education and background as an artist fuel her excitement for supporting people who are asking "what's next?" (professionally or personally) and helping them to design their own good life path. Check out Lara's website: www.larabuelow.com, or connect with her on Instagram: @larabuelow
Lara lives with her husband, two daughters, and dog in Denver, CO. She is an enthusiastic creator and a self proclaimed self help junkie.
She's called "Dr. Sam" in our networking group, which fits her laid back and welcoming personality. I hope you'll enjoy Dr. Sharonrose Samelak's answers to these questions. She is a lovely, funny, kind human - whose only flaw I've found so far is that she somehow mistakenly believes that running is "fun". Other than that, I adore her! How would you answer these questions? Share in the comments, or send me an email or come find the conversation on social media!  What are some things that were important to you as a small child that you can still see echoes or threads of in your life today? My whole life I have been deeply emotional, whether it is joy or sadness or anything in between. Having people be able to handle my emotions was then and is still a very important part of my life. I have a hard time having deep relationships with people who do not express their emotions authentically or who shy away from mine. Were aspects of your identity celebrated or suppressed throughout your life? How did this affect you? See above! I felt like I was often "Too much" as a child and I often hesitate to share my big feelings with people who are new in my life What does it mean to you to move toward healing? What types of things support your healing journey? I look at healing as cohesion between my thoughts, my body, my relationships, and my actions. I support that journey with acupuncture, meditation, chiropractic, exercise, deep conversations, and lots of introspective time What are your thoughts about consent? How does consent show up in your work? As a Chiropractor, consent is front and center in my life. In my work that involves being open and communicative about how I handle contact with my patients. This is especially important to me when working with children because their consent is often overridden in healthcare. Are there ways that you engage with somatics (mind + body connection) for yourself? I work on biofeedback in breathwork exercises on a regular basis as well as meditation. Bio Dr. Sharonrose Samelak is a Chiropractic Physician at Seed of Life Chiropractic in Seattle.
You can find her on Instagram: @seedoflifechiro
I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've had to spend time with Gabrielle. We've never actually met in-person, but met via magic of the interwebs around 5 years ago when I offered my first virtual group - a 6 week series focusing on birth trauma. Since then, we've done some other work together and I've had a chance to learn more about her. She has a very real passion for healing - in her own personal, internal work, and also in her role as a helper/healer. She is a fiercely loving mom, a sweetly in-love wife, and a loyal and compassionate person, and she's got a great smile! I so appreciate her willingness to participate in this project. I hope you'll enjoy her answers to the questions she chose. How would you respond to these questions? Do Gabrielle's answers spark anything for you? Leave a comment!  Were any aspects of your identity celebrated or suppressed throughout your life? How did this affect you? Perfectionism was celebrated as a major theme of my childhood. And I still struggle today to let that go and accept living a messy life. But I desperately don’t want to pass this on to my son. Additionally, being a care giver was celebrated in my 20’s and on ward. People tend to expect me to take care of everything, and I’m pretty good at it and I let everything fall on my shoulders when it does not have to. This has left me burnt out and exhausted as an employee, wife, mother, daughter, etc. If disability or chronic illness is part of your experience – will you share how this affects how you navigate the world and interact with others? Chronic illness has been part of my experience for a long time now, and more recently has affected my husband. It has definitely made me more patient with other people. I have so many “bad” days with my illnesses, that I always just assume other people are having bad days too, and give them grace and kindness. Are there places you can go or people you can be with where you feel you can be 100% yourself? I am lucky enough to have a sold inner friend circle. There are 4 people (besides my husband) who know my every flaw and error and love me in spite of them. And vice versa. As an only child, they are so valuable to me and the closet thing to siblings I could have. What false stories, myths, or constructs have you believed about yourself? How have you or do you let those go or shift/change them? I’m sure my therapist could list more, but what comes to mind is the idea that I cannot be loved if I am not perfect. I have come a long way with this, but still have traces of it in my subconscious and it pops out when I’m not paying attention. What does it mean to you to move toward healing? What types of things support your healing journey? Moving towards healing, to me, means finding peace. Being able to face life and stay in control of my happiness and not get triggered by things that bring up the past for me. I’ve done talk therapy, medication, TMS therapy, listening sessions, massage, yoga, mediation. Just to name a few. BIOGabrielle is a dietitian and mom of a kind and amazing 6 year old. She agreed to participate in this project because she has been working so hard to heal and believes that sharing that process with others helps everyone to heal. She is most creative when she is well rested (lol). Gabrielle and Crystal first connected through a 6 week birth trauma group series facilitated by Crystal nearly 6 years ago, and she has worked 1:1 with Crystal through Hakomi Listening Sessions.
This week the guest interview I'm sharing is with Jerica Green. I regularly get to see Jerica through a small business networking group that we are a part of. She is a fun and deeply caring person, and her enthusiasm for the work she is doing is immediately apparent. I've so enjoyed getting to know her, meeting (virtually for now) her ferret babies (they are sooooo cuuuute!!!), and learning more about faschia and our amazing bodies through her. As you read through her answers to the 5 questions she chose, I'm sure you will find tidbits that are fun, engaging, energetic, and super interesting - just like Jerica! Leave a comment and let us know YOUR thoughts about these questions - what would your answers be?  How do “woo” and science interact and reconcile in your life and work? I feel like I've always existed in the intersection of woo and science. My father is a medical doctor and my mother is a buddhist/reiki master/artist. They both taught me the importance of each branch of thought. Now I am a manual & massage therapist utilizing both the understanding of -anatomy, physiology and kinesiology and blending it with -energy work, visualization and affirmation etc. I think my work would be so different, perhaps less impactful, if I didn't incorporate both into my practice. Science and woo, work hand in hand. Woo is the dreamer, the creative, reaching beyond the known. Science anchors our thoughts into an easily measurable reality. In my experience the main difference between science and woo is that woo is more difficult to objectively quantify, to measure and describe definitively. Just because we cannot find the words for it doesn't make it any less useful, impactful or important. Are there ways that you engage with somatics (mind + body connection) for yourself? Somatics is the basis of my professional practice. I have explored the mind + body connection through many mediums. The way I engage most often is using one to calm the other. If I have a part of my body that is speaking out to me, positively or negatively, I will manually or energetically work on that area and notice what comes up. Emotions, thoughts, patterns, words, shapes, noises, and memories are all examples of things that turn up when working on that body part. They say the body keeps the score. Everything is stored in the body, especially trauma. Sometimes just being with that space can help you work through it. Plus touch and presence are very grounding sensations, they can help to calm the mind if needed. If you can calm your mind it can help you calm your body. Counting sheep before going to sleep for example. How does curiosity show up in your life? I am curious about everything. I love to learn and I am always doing so. In my life, curiosity ties into play. How will this taste if I add this other ingredient? Will working on this muscle create more availability to this other one? What are the driving factors behind this person's actions? I wonder how hard it is to fix this broken couch? Most of my questions lead to at least some sort of research, and maybe half the time birth into a project of some sort. I am grateful for the internet for instant gratification to most of my curiosities. Do you consider yourself generally more optimistic or pessimistic? Why? I am a highly optimistic person. I can see the silver lining in most situations. I think that has helped lift me up and progress through difficult times. I’m not exactly sure why I’m this way. I think I just determined that being optimistic felt better in my mind-body and just ran with it. What is your relationship with the concept of “boundaries”? Boundaries are extremely important! I’ve struggled with my own boundaries for years but the longer I live the more I come back to how important they are. Boundary work is lifelong, continuous, dynamic, and will likely change over time. They are important for your relationships, friendships, , physical/mental/emotional/sexual health, work life, personal life.. Basically every aspect of being human. BIO My name is Jerica Green. I own Fountain of Youth, a womxn focused massage and manual therapy clinic in the Fauntleroy neighborhood of West Seattle. I mainly practice SOMA Neuromuscular Structural Integration and pre/peri/post natal Massage. These techniques have long lasting effects including - increasing: range of motion, circulation, and mind-body awareness as well as reducing: pain, anxiety, depression, tension and stress. Some common issues this work can help with are: poor posture, healing from surgery/injury, PMS, peri/menopause, preparing for pregnancy, easing discomfort/issues during pregnancy, reclaiming your body postpartum, scoliosis, chronic sinus issues, TMJD, plantar fasciitis, headaches, irregular stance, incontinence, and prolapse. You can reach me at 253-234-5734 or jerica@fountainofyouth.healthcare with any further questions. Check out the Fountain of Youth Facebook page here.
On Friday, June 24, the news hit our feeds - the U.S. Supreme Court had overturned Roe v. Wade. So many of us were shocked, angry, frustrated, sad & grieving, and feeling very alone. I hosted a "pop-up" circle on June 26 to give us space to process, to be together, and to begin to think about strategic next steps. As with nearly all the spaces I facilitate, we shared poetry. These are the 2 poems I brought to our group space, as well as one contributed by an attendee. Let's continue to take care of ourselves and each other. Let's continue to read poetry to each other, to make art, to raise our babies to be disruptors and agitators, and continue to RESIST. Feel free to share your favorite poems of resistance in the comments. Good Bones |
| Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways, a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative estimate, though I keep this from my children. For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird. For every loved child, a child broken, bagged, sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world is at least half terrible, and for every kind stranger, there is one who would break you, though I keep this from my children. I am trying to sell them the world. Any decent realtor, walking you through a real shithole, chirps on about good bones: This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful. |  |
In Any Event
by Dorianne Laux
If we are fractured
we are fractured
like stars
bred to shine
in every direction,
through any dimension,
billions of years
since and hence.
I shall not lament
the human, not yet.
There is something
more to come, our hearts
a gold mine
not yet plumbed,
an uncharted sea.
Nothing is gone forever.
If we came from dust
and will return to dust
then we can find our way
into anything.
What we are capable of
is not yet known,
and I praise us now,
in advance.
we are fractured
like stars
bred to shine
in every direction,
through any dimension,
billions of years
since and hence.
I shall not lament
the human, not yet.
There is something
more to come, our hearts
a gold mine
not yet plumbed,
an uncharted sea.
Nothing is gone forever.
If we came from dust
and will return to dust
then we can find our way
into anything.
What we are capable of
is not yet known,
and I praise us now,
in advance.
 For more poetry to lift your spirits, check out this collection of Poems of Hope & Resilience from The Poetry Foundation. | What Do We Do - Now |
| This series of guest interviews is part of the Practicing Together project - a 6 month exploration of the 5 Practices framework that I use in my Seeds of Connection groups. Each guest was invited to choose 5 questions from a list of over 60 questions that were based on the different practices. The questions are being posted over the next many months on my Instagram feed - follow along and answer them for yourself, and see how others in the community are reflecting on these topics. A new guest interview will be posted to this blog every Friday from June through November 2022. Read more about the Practicing Together project and join us for the monthly Community Calls for deeper exploration! |  |
Today's Guest Interview is with Kate Holly. We met through a course we both were taking with Kelly Diels. When Kate offered input during a conversation in a virtual class, I was struck by her curious, vulnerable, and thoughtful approach to the topics we were discussing (feminist values in social media marketing). She is still a new person in my circle, and as I get to know her, I can really see how much her values are embedded in her work, her podcast, and her life as a whole. I so enjoyed reading Kate's thoughts and learning more about her through her answers to these questions. She picked some good ones! I appreciate someone willing to jump right in to the deep end, and I hope you too will appreciate her thoughtful answers to these questions.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts, or share YOUR answers to these questions.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts, or share YOUR answers to these questions.
Finish this sentence: I want to live in a world where…..?
I want to live in a world where we use our shared resources to create a thriving quality of life for everyone, where production never outpaces or ignores what is sustainable for our climate and ecosystem, where we value each other’s diversity and unique perspectives and gifts, where CARE is valued, where together we solve problems from the brilliant part of our brains instead of running from problems with the most fearful part of our brains.
What are your personal practices or beliefs around things like decolonization or divesting from capitalism?
I love this question! This truly is a practice, and one that will never be finished. Here are a few indicators for me:
What is your relationship to perfectionism like?
I didn’t used to think I was a perfectionist, because I don’t tend to be uptight about small details. However, over the years I have come to terms with an extreme perfectionism in me that really wants to have a “right way” of doing everything, and wants to “be right” with every move. This becomes particularly challenging for me with politics and ethics, which are fundamentally complicated and sloppy and non-binary, and it also becomes challenging when self-expression is involved, because I always want to present myself as good and right and perfect, and it turns out this is impossible. I have been working for years on discerning where I have a high standard for myself and others in a way that is positive and supportive of growth, and where I am being unnecessarily perfectionistic and unrealistic with my expectations. I have come to think of perfectionism as “getting the mask right”. As someone who learned late in life that I am neurodiverse (ADHD), I had to come to terms with the fact that I had been performing perfection because I was so terrified of anyone seeing what a disorganized mess I actually feel like I am so much of the time. Self-love has been the biggest practice in releasing perfectionism for me, along with becoming a life coach. As a coach, I have had the incredible privilege of learning how much of this conditioning is universal and damaging to all of us, and as I recognize these universal threads I am able to be more gentle with myself when they come up.
What do you see as the cause(s) of disconnection in our lives?
I think the primary cause of disconnection is the culture of individualism and privatization that stems from colonization, white supremacy, patriarchy and late stage capitalism.
I know so many people who have the same dream: to live on land somewhere beautiful where they can connect to nature, to create a retreat center where they can bring together community and host events and eat communally, some version of this. It’s interesting that the best dream we can create in an individualist culture is one where we privately own a bunch of acreage and have a capitalist venture like a wedding retreat venue. There is nothing at all wrong with this, but the fact that SO MANY people I know have the same dream shows me that we are missing some of the same fundamental things from our lives. We have more “wealth” than ever in private property, but less wealth than ever in community, quality of life, health and happiness. It is tragic to watch us keep reinvesting in the idea that more privatization is going to solve this problem, when it’s clear that privatization created the problem to begin with.
Do/have you worked with a coach or therapist? What makes this work meaningful to you?
I have worked with a variety of coaches over the past 6 years. For me, coaching is one of the most impactful tools I have encountered, which is why I ultimately became a coach myself. Coaching completely liberated my brain from limiting beliefs that I previously thought were just “how things are”. My first encounters with coaching changed my perspective deeply, allowing me to release judgement towards myself and others, shift my relationship to money, free myself from the dread of scarcity thinking, and take meaningful action on my goals. I have always been naturally optimistic and believed that people can change in any way they set their mind to, but it wasn’t until I encountered coaching that I had the tools to back up this perspective.
I want to live in a world where we use our shared resources to create a thriving quality of life for everyone, where production never outpaces or ignores what is sustainable for our climate and ecosystem, where we value each other’s diversity and unique perspectives and gifts, where CARE is valued, where together we solve problems from the brilliant part of our brains instead of running from problems with the most fearful part of our brains.
What are your personal practices or beliefs around things like decolonization or divesting from capitalism?
I love this question! This truly is a practice, and one that will never be finished. Here are a few indicators for me:
- From connecting my worth to my income >>> To valuing myself inherently and without the need for external validation.
- From valuing others based on a hierarchy imposed by capitalism >>> To valuing others inherently without placing them on a hierarchy.
- From “harder faster stronger” mentality >>> To gentleness, presence, and a balance of ease and effort.
- From seeing our ecosystem and wildlife as something to be controlled and possessed >>>To seeing our ecosystem and wildlife as something to be experienced and nurtured.
- From seeing my body as an object >>> To awakening the consciousness and wisdom within my body.
- From a homogenous value system that reveres a “right way” of doing things >>> To curiosity, creativity and active listening that allows me to learn about the many beautiful and diverse ways that people think and operate.
- From waiting for permission to speak and take up space >>>> To boldly sharing my voice and vision with the world because there is value in my perspective.
- From believing the scarcity myth that tells me I have no choices >>> To seeing the resources and choices that are available to me when I think outside the box.
- I feel myself divest in every moment when I pause and give in to desire and gentleness and playfulness and love.
- I feel myself divest when I look at the systems and think about greater possibilities and pay attention to what is happening politically and get engaged.
- I feel myself divest when I learn how to create a justice-oriented business that does things a different way, and when I can support other historically marginalized folks build successful businesses that are rooted in justice.
What is your relationship to perfectionism like?
I didn’t used to think I was a perfectionist, because I don’t tend to be uptight about small details. However, over the years I have come to terms with an extreme perfectionism in me that really wants to have a “right way” of doing everything, and wants to “be right” with every move. This becomes particularly challenging for me with politics and ethics, which are fundamentally complicated and sloppy and non-binary, and it also becomes challenging when self-expression is involved, because I always want to present myself as good and right and perfect, and it turns out this is impossible. I have been working for years on discerning where I have a high standard for myself and others in a way that is positive and supportive of growth, and where I am being unnecessarily perfectionistic and unrealistic with my expectations. I have come to think of perfectionism as “getting the mask right”. As someone who learned late in life that I am neurodiverse (ADHD), I had to come to terms with the fact that I had been performing perfection because I was so terrified of anyone seeing what a disorganized mess I actually feel like I am so much of the time. Self-love has been the biggest practice in releasing perfectionism for me, along with becoming a life coach. As a coach, I have had the incredible privilege of learning how much of this conditioning is universal and damaging to all of us, and as I recognize these universal threads I am able to be more gentle with myself when they come up.
What do you see as the cause(s) of disconnection in our lives?
I think the primary cause of disconnection is the culture of individualism and privatization that stems from colonization, white supremacy, patriarchy and late stage capitalism.
I know so many people who have the same dream: to live on land somewhere beautiful where they can connect to nature, to create a retreat center where they can bring together community and host events and eat communally, some version of this. It’s interesting that the best dream we can create in an individualist culture is one where we privately own a bunch of acreage and have a capitalist venture like a wedding retreat venue. There is nothing at all wrong with this, but the fact that SO MANY people I know have the same dream shows me that we are missing some of the same fundamental things from our lives. We have more “wealth” than ever in private property, but less wealth than ever in community, quality of life, health and happiness. It is tragic to watch us keep reinvesting in the idea that more privatization is going to solve this problem, when it’s clear that privatization created the problem to begin with.
Do/have you worked with a coach or therapist? What makes this work meaningful to you?
I have worked with a variety of coaches over the past 6 years. For me, coaching is one of the most impactful tools I have encountered, which is why I ultimately became a coach myself. Coaching completely liberated my brain from limiting beliefs that I previously thought were just “how things are”. My first encounters with coaching changed my perspective deeply, allowing me to release judgement towards myself and others, shift my relationship to money, free myself from the dread of scarcity thinking, and take meaningful action on my goals. I have always been naturally optimistic and believed that people can change in any way they set their mind to, but it wasn’t until I encountered coaching that I had the tools to back up this perspective.
BIO
Kate Holly is a coach, facilitator and educator for creative entrepreneurs, healers and thought leaders who are building sustainable businesses that model the world they want to live in. She is the host of “The Space Beyond Scarce” podcast, which explores how we can create more justice and prosperity by overcoming the scarcity mindset.
She helps her students and clients to cultivate self-love, discover and live from their unique brilliance, and build the dreams that they are meant for. You can find her writings, workshops, training programs and coaching opportunities at www.kateholly.com. Connect with Kate on Instagram @katesandersonholly.
She helps her students and clients to cultivate self-love, discover and live from their unique brilliance, and build the dreams that they are meant for. You can find her writings, workshops, training programs and coaching opportunities at www.kateholly.com. Connect with Kate on Instagram @katesandersonholly.
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